Enter Annoying mid-night mythical prowler who doesn't help you sleep at all and throws crap in your eyes
Enter Annoying Mid-night mythical Prowler Who Doesn't Help You Sleep At All and Throws Crap In Your Eyes - 03/10/09
Well that's what Metallica were originally going to call the song, but swiftly decided... "nah that shit ain't catchy". Possibly. It is October now and I finally got my ass together to put a new comic up. Woot! Yes this is attempt four-hundred and seven at this. Well towards the end of August and during the last month my sleep pattern has been punched upside the head. The huge reason for this not happening sooner. My sleep pattern has always been dreadful ever since I was a tiny, teething, crying lump of flesh. Recently I have been falling asleep in the evening for all of an hour or so then not sleeping all night and remaining drowsy and crazed throughout the time of being awake.
The reason for the Sandman making it onto these pages is due to Laura (my wonderful girlfriend and muse... I'm a soppy git so shut up everyone) messaging me ages ago saying that she was going to send the Sandman round to help me sleep. This got me to thinking. Who and what is the Sandman? He is said to be some sort of magical being who is responsible for all that yellow crust in your eyes in the morning (ah science). Why did no one ever really live in fear of some nighttime prowler breaking into people's houses and spraying them with beach particles? We know when he will strike. Why did no one stop him? We do our best to avoid other magical beings. The tax man, the repo man (not the wrestler), the milkman, guys in white suits and ties who never leave, people offering to trim your hedges or clean your windows? Then again, they don't break into your house while you're there. When they do they probably just steal your TV or try to sleep with your wife, daughter or son... you never know.
An hilarious encounter would be if the Sandman went to a drunk students house to find he wasn't in his bed. The student walks in, pissed as a newt, to find what he must assume is a practical joke gone wrong due to bad-timing. Either that or the drunk students do one of three things. Kick his face off, offer him drugs or molest him. They will never phone the Police with, "There is a man in a mask in my room pouring sand on my bed". Whatever the drunk student does though will become one of those legendary "I know a guy and this happened..." stories. An urban legend is born.
The other problem is this. If he is throwing sand in the face of sleep (quite literally), what a bastard (pardon my French). We all know that sand gets everywhere and never leaves. That is actually a night's sleep ruined followed by three days, and maybe even more nights of sleeplessness, of trying to remove every single grain of sand from your bed, face, hair and anywhere else it may have landed. On the one plus side he could throw worse things at your face. Nuff said.
Has my sleep problem improved any? No. It probably never will either. I do aim to make yet another return to regular updates though. After my month (and a half) without an update welcome back and thank you for reading. Enjoy your sleep! - J